Holly's blog

University makes me anxious and that is not alright.

The thought of how much debt I'm going to be in when I graduate makes me anxious.
The thought of am I even going to pass my modules next year makes me anxious
Am I going to even make it to graduation?
The social side of uni makes me anxious.

All of these things make me anxious but I am determined to not let my anxiety ruin this experience for me, this experience which I've worked so hard for. I have wanted to go university for years but now I am here and have just finished my first year, my anxiety is ruining it and I want to be able to enjoy my time here. I am determined to not let my anxiety ruin this for me. I will work hard this year, and even if I do not get the grades I need to pass, all that matters is that I've tried my best. I need to learn to take things one day at a time and to not get so caught up in the future that I forget about the present.

I finished my first year at university this week and I have mixed feelings. I feel happy, sad, anxious, relieved, overwhelmed and underwhelmed.


I remember a year ago getting really anxious about my A Levels and expecting not to get the grades to uni, and here I am a year later, just finishing my first year at my first choice uni! I've made amazing friends (although it took while for that to happen), made some lovely memories, and learnt about some of my favourite topics. It is important to note that whilst most of my time has been great, there have of course also been so not great so great moments and I'm currently working on another post about the truth of uni so look out for that!

So I moved into my halls on 18th September 2016 where I first met my flatmates (and I'm now living with 3 of them next year). On the first night we went for a walk around the city to get used to it and I then spent the rest of the night crying alone in my room as I was so overwhelmed by the new experience. My flatmates and I then spent the first week going to different events such as Freshtival (a music festival style night at the SU) and a ghost tour (which was more of a history tour). I am studying History along with one of my flatmates, Amy, and in the first week we both did a treasure hunt for our course where we made some more friends and also got lost. We also dragged my boyfriend, Simon, along as he also goes to our uni although he studies Accounting and Finance.

When the university season fully started with lectures things got more intense as the workload slowly increased and I made the mistake of leaving 2 essays until 4 days before the due date (although I did get my highest grades on them haha).

I have grown and changed so much this year and honestly, I wouldn't change the ups and the downs for the world. I'm proud of who I've become and who I am becoming thanks to my university.

I'm almost at the end of my first year at university, and as such I have learnt a few tips when it comes to saving money.

1) Borrow books from the library
When you get given your reading list before you arrive, try and hold off from buying any books and wait and see if your university library has them. Most reading lists will have various sections ranging from essential to further reading. I know it is tempting to buy all of the books in the essential reading list but in my experience you probably won't actually need those books and if you do then your university will generally have multiple copies of it available to borrow along with a reference copy that has to stay in the library. Books can cost anywhere from £10 to hundreds of pounds so it is always better to try and save money by waiting and seeing if the library already has it!



2)Don't go out all the time
When you are surrounded by people and being invited to various events or nights out it is incredibly tempting to go out all the time! Whilst this is a great way to socialise, try not to go out all the time or to give yourself set days when you're allowed to go out. This way you aren't constantly spending money on travel, food, drink, cinema etc, and have time to do your assignments. If you do want to go out all the time try to limit it to just the first weeks of the semester and then maybe go out once or twice a week or do activities where you don't need to spend a lot of money like a movie night at home or visiting a museum.

3) Don't get takeaways all the time
It can be tempting to just order in food all the time, especially in the first few days or if you aren't great at cooking, but this can make serious dents in your money. Try and limit yourself, having a takeaway as a treat after you've finished an assignment or as a once a week/fortnightly treat for getting through uni life. Plus you will appreciate the food so much more if you don't have it all of the time!

4) Charity shops
I know second hand things aren't everyone's cups of tea but you can find some real treasures in charity shops from clothes, to books, board games, to kitchenware! You can also find a lot of stuff in there that is brand new and was an unwanted gift for half the price of buying it from somewhere else!

5) Group meals
These aren't always viable but if they are then I recommend trying them! Create a list of meals that you and your flatmates like (or whoever it is you want to share meals with). Then all put in an equal amount of money to buy the food and give each other a set day to cook a meal. Not only will you save money as you'll all be buying the food and having more variety, but you'll also probably eat a lot healthier than if you weren't and eating and cooking with friends is so much more fun than doing it by yourself. My flatmates and I have roast dinners, chicken, pasta, jacket potatoes and much more for a fraction of the price if we were eating individually!

6) Write down lists
This is boring but it does help. Write down various lists from essentials to treats. Make sure you buy essentials like food and toilet roll etc and then once you've brought the essentials see how much you have left and if you can think you can afford it then treat yourself to something like a new top or makeup at the end of the month.

Today is Thursday 18th August 2016 and if you are an A Level Student you will know that today is A Level Results day!

When I woke up this morning (not that I'd ever really fallen asleep because I was worrying so much), I went on the UCAS website and waiting until 8am when Track would be updated and tell me whether or not I'd gotten into uni. I was so happy when I discovered that I'd been accepted to my first choice university and had been given an unconditional offer because I'd met the exam requirements! I'm going to be studying History at a university that seems perfect for me!

However, I still had to go to college and get my results. I went with my friend Zoe and got there around 10am. Zoe had amazing results (I wouldn't have expected anything less from her!) and my results were okay - at least I'd passed and gotten into uni even if they weren't what I'd wanted! I got a B in English Literature and Language overall, and C's in History and Media Studies overall. I'm slightly disappointed because of how hard I worked this year but I know that my AS grades are what dragged me down. For some reason I'd found AS level's so much harder than A2 and this reflected in my grades. This year I managed to get an A in my History coursework but because of exam results last year I ended up with a C overall.

Overall I'm happy with my A2 results, just not so happy with my overall A Level grades. On the bright side I managed to pass my A levels and get into a university I've wanted to go to and will be doing a course I will hopefully love! Well done to everyone, no matter what grades you got and good luck for your futures!